How to Stop Worrying: 3 Essential Tips
Jen Drago 
Anxiety can be a crushing weight on many of us as we self-isolate at home in the midst of this pandemic. Here are 3 simple steps to stop worrying.
Anxiety can be a crushing weight on many of us as we self-isolate at home in the midst of this pandemic. Being at home with real or projected fears can exacerbate our worrying. Will I get this virus? Will my job continue to support me working from home? Am I providing enough value to my organization during this time? What if I lost my job after my husband was laid off four weeks ago? Are our parents and adult children doing what they are supposed to stay safe? There are so many things we can and do worry about, but many of these issues are outside our control.
I know that you’ve probably been told to stop worrying over things that you can’t control. But that is sometimes easier said than done. One of my all-time favorite worrying quotes is:
“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.”
Worrying constantly about things outside your control like the weather and what other people think is not healthy or practical because you can’t change these things. You should instead focus your actions on what YOU can control such as your own attitude and actions. Over time, making this intentional shift will help you stop worrying so much and reduce the worry and anxiety that can fill your mind.
Here are some simple ways to make this shift:
- Shift your mindset – Choose to think positive thoughts and to not wallow in worry, and instead filling your time and your head with positivity.
- Shift your actions – Stay connected with those you love through phone, text, and video chats. Offer to run errands and shop for others. Check-in on others and volunteer to assist in some way. Practice self-care.
- Beyond your actions and your mindset, there is not much else you can control, so you must surrender the rest.
Shift Your Mindset
Shifting your mindset means bringing positivity into your life by focusing on gratitude and noticing positive elements in your environment. Did you know that our minds are hardwired to scan our environments looking for things that will do us harm? It is part of our “fight or flight” response that made up our ancestors’ DNA and is also in ours. We have to overcome this negative scanning by purposely focusing on the positive in order to control our mindset.
The simplest way to do this is by journaling what you are grateful for each day. Whether you start your day or end your day with gratitude, pick at least three things that you are grateful for each day and really think about why you are grateful for each. You don’t have to stop at three, somedays I do three, sometimes four, and sometimes I am feeling so grateful that I list as many as I can think of.
The important thing is to help yourself appreciate even the small things – the cute snoring of your old dog, the beautiful song played when the gentle breeze blows through the wind chimes, the softness of a favorite blanket – in addition to the big things – how your best friend can make you laugh no matter what, when your child says something that melts your heart, when your mom surprises you with one of her homemade treats. Taking a few minutes a day, every day, to think about and journal the things you are grateful for has been scientifically shown to make you less anxious and worried.
While you are journaling, another tip from positive psychology research is to journal positive things that happened during that day. This type of positive event journaling, combined with gratitude, has been shown to prime your brain to notice positive events and elements in your environment and, over time, to increase your positivity and reduce stress and anxiety.
And, finally, another tip to reduce anxiety is to enjoy the outdoors every day. If you can, go for a walk and notice the trees, flowers, grass, and birds as you go. Even grabbing a few minutes of fresh air on your porch or patio will give your mind a boost.
Shift Your Actions
Shifting your actions means being intentional about performing actions that can bring you peace and help you feel connected to others. One of the most important actions you can take right now is to be of service to others. Stay connected to your family, friends, co-workers, and community. Check-in on others and show them you care. Volunteer or raise money for a good cause such as food banks. These acts of service will help eradicate your own worries because you are being kind and helping others, filling your own heart, and bringing positive feelings and emotions into your life. It is habit-forming and you will want more!
You can also perform a random act of kindness for another – share a treat with a neighbor, write a note to someone to express appreciation, call a relative or friend that you haven’t talked to in a while. This will make you feel good and make another person feel special.
Another important action to take right now is to practice self-care by eating well, getting some exercise daily, prioritizing your sleep, and staying safe.
Surrender the Rest
After shifting our own thoughts and actions, we must surrender the rest. You can do this through prayer, journaling, meditation, and/or mindfulness techniques.
Here is one of the easiest ways to try mindfulness if you have never tried before. Sit quietly and focus on your breathing. Focused breathing by itself is therapeutic. Try the box breathing technique. Close your eyes in a quiet place. Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four counts and hold for four. Continue to do this for 10 minutes and try to not focus on anything but the breath. Let thoughts flutter in and out of your mind but don’t let any thought take hold. Just calmly let them go and return to your focus to your breath. Think of one or two words that will calm you and keep you focused on your breath. A simple word I have used is SURRENDER as I exhale. I imagine that all the things are bringing me anxiety are being surrendered to the universe for higher action.
Try these practices at least once per day but try to fit two sessions in for maximum benefit. Schedule it. Don’t forego it. You will notice a calming of your monkey mind. As you allow yourself intentional time to meditate, journal, or pray, you will crave that daily time to unplug and give your mind a mini-mental vacation. You will definitely feel less anxiety and be able to benefit from enhanced mindfulness and focus.
More helpful advice to help you surrender can be found in this article from one of my favorite authors, Eric Barker, who believes that mindfulness is a powerful way to control anxiety. Another helpful tip in this article from Headspace suggests that you ask yourself when you are ruminating on a worrisome topic, “Is this useful?” If not, let the thought go and move on.
Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.
So, let’s recap. To reduce worry, focus on those things that you can control.
- Shift your mindset:
> Focus on daily gratitude by noticing and journaling what you are grateful for. Every day.
> Notice your own negativity and change your internal script by noticing things in your environment that are positive.
> Enjoy the outdoors – sun, trees, flowers, birds, squirrels – they can all bring you internal peace.
2. Shift your actions:
> Be of service to others – Volunteer or perform daily acts of kindness
> Stay connected to those you care about
> Stay healthy and practice self-care
3. Surrender the rest. Release the remainder of your anxieties and worries, especially that outside of your control, to the universe, or whatever higher power you choose.
>Meditate
>Pray
>Longhand journal
I hope you have taken away one or two ideas to reduce worry and anxiety during this challenging time. We are all in this together, and I wish you happiness and gratitude for this day and every day. Remember this quote from Corrie ten Boom, “Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows. It empties today of its strength.”